A man whose mother and sister were killed by his father is speaking in Jersey about his traumatic experience and how to intervene when someone is being coercively controlled.

Coercive control was added to the island's domestic abuse law in 2023, meaning that those found guilty of an offence could face up to five years in jail, as well as a fine.

Luke Hart will be speaking to people today at a conference organised by Jersey charity FREEDA, sharing his story about how coercive control led to the deaths of his mother and sister. 

He first tells Channel 103 what coercive control is: 

"Coercive control is actually the fundamental nature of domestic abuse but often goes unseen. 

"It often involves lots of subtle mechanisms that slowly errode someone's freedom. I often describe it as death by a million pin pricks.

"Often the way that the abuser carries it out is lots and lots of sub-threshold events. They might do a million things, none of which individually are a crime, but which together completely control your life.

"It's only seeing that accumulation and aggregation that you can then start to see the impact of something like coercive control."

                       Claire and Charlotte, Luke's mum and sister

Luke Hart lost his mum Claire and sister Charlotte in 2016, after his father Lance Hart killed them with a sawn-off shotgun in Lincolnshire.

What Luke wants people to know is that this crime followed years of abuse where his entire family were victims of coercive control.

Luke Hart bravely shares his story with Channel 103 today: 

"I never really understood that I or my family were victims of domestic abuse until, in 2016, my father shot and killed my mum Claire and my 19 year old sister Charlotte before killing himself.

"My brother Ryan and I really were just trying to figure out what on earth had happened, and what we realised is that we had grown up with a false narrative of our lives.

"Our father had essentially isolated our family in a number of ways.  For example, he took our family to a remote farmhouse to live for ten years, growing our own food etc.. and it seemed idyllic, and many people thought it was idyllic, but that was part of him controlling our mother, for example.

"Everything was always sinister. It was only after the murders and police investigation that we were able to uncover that actually everything that had been going on had been ways that our father was coercively controlling us."

Luke with his brother and sister Ryan and Charlotte

During his childhood, Luke says he was fed a peanut by his father in front of his mother despite him having a life-threating nut allergy.

He said this was used as a way to show his mother that she had to obey him, or her children would be harmed.

Luke also said his father also manipulated the truth so his family were in his sight at all times.

He describes that the only room that was heated and lit in his house was the living room, where his father was, and they were told there was never enough money for fuel to go anywhere, so the only option was to be in the presence of Lance. 

Charlotte Hart, who lost her life at 19 years old

Luke Hart has this advice for those for whom any elements of his story resonate with:

"We didn't recognise that we were victims of domestic abuse, and that's very common - especially if you're suffering coercive control.

"You adapt to it for a number of reasons. You just don't see it because it's normalised.

"What I would say is the first thing (to do) is to try and talk to people, particularly domestic abuse experts, about your concerns and intuitions about what might be going on, and they can help you piece it together and try and understand it.

"Many people have heard the example of a frog in boiling water. If you chuck a frog into a pot of boiling water it will jump straight out because it knows it's boiling. But if you put a frog in cold water and slowly bring it to a boil, it will boil to death as it doesn't notice it getting hot as it's constantly acclimatising. 

"That's the experience of being in abuse. So it's always good to get someone else's opinion to help you see what's really going on."

Luke's mum Claire

Luke Hart is also encouraging islanders not to be bystanders when they think someone in Jersey might be coercively controlled: 

"Victims often don't know what's happening to them, and if you've got a friend or family member that is going through this, you may be the first person to notice it - before the victims even.

"In our experience, there were times that our father's behaviour leaked out, but no-one said anything. There were times we tried to reach out and explain what's going on and no-one said anything.

"The problem is if you're help-seeking, and people see what's going on and they say nothing, you assume 'well this must be fine then because it this wasn't fine then someone would have done something or said something'."

"So I often say to people who are potentially bystanders in these situations, if you are someone who simply says 'this isn't okay' you would have been the first person in our situation to have said that to us."

 Claire and Charlotte

Luke will be speaking as part of a panel event organised by FREEDA (formerly Jersey Women's Refuge) from 5.15pm - 7.00pm at the Royal Yacht today (21 November) with a number of other guests who will also be talking about their experiences and where to go for support. 

Suzie Mahe, who bravely shared her story with Channel 103 after her abuser Gavin Roberts was sentenced on 8 November 2024, will be in attendance. 

She has waived her right to anonymity to use her voice to take a stand against domestic abuse:

Gavin Roberts has been jailed for 15 years after raping and seriously assaulting a woman as well as attacking another.

Suzy Mahe survived the abuse that Gavin inflicted on her.

Following his sentence, Suzy has waived her right to anonymity and bravely addressed the camera: pic.twitter.com/LcZjOdBtrG

— Channel 103 (@Channel103) November 8, 2024

You can reserve a spot in the panel discussion on the FREEDA website.